Here we go again. Disclaimer time. Standard stuff. Sailor Moon and it's components don't belong to us. Renee, Lauren, Zalisite (the promised bad guy), and Old Faithful (you'll see :)) DO belong to us. Please don't use them without our permission. We'd write a snazzier disclaimer, but it's 1:00 AM and we're exhausted. :) Good thing for sugar rushes...

Part 3 -- A Nega-boy and His Dog
by Renee-chan and L.M. Griffin

Picture this. A cold, dark, echoing, cavern. Now, picture this. At the front of that cavern, sits an imposing, elaborate, and empty throne. Are you picturing? Yes, this is Beryl's throne room. Well actually, this WAS Beryl's throne room. A young man stood at the foot of the great dais, staring up at the throne. He didn't intend for it to stand empty any longer. He slowly mounted the steps and turned to face Beryl's Great Hall. He sat. It felt right. He would stay.


Serena shook her head, "This is too much for me! I can't take it anymore!" she stood up and glared at Lauren and Renee. She yanked on her long pigtails in frustration, then screamed, "OW! Who pulled my hair??" Lauren put her head in her hands and muttered, "You did, Serena."

Everyone else sweatdropped. Lauren stifled a giggle, but Renee wasn't quite so successful. Serena glared at her in irritation, "I'm not even going to bother." Serena sat down again.

Luna glanced at her, "Are you finished, now, Serena?" Serena nodded her head. Luna turned back to Lauren and Renee, "So what you're saying is, you are both from another Universe where the Scouts are characters in a television show?" She ignored Artemis' muttered comment about the newcomers' world being even more pathetic than their own. Lauren scrunched up her mouth and glared at Artemis, who shrank back under the table.

Renee smiled, tolerantly, "That about sums it up, Luna. I know it's not much of an explanation, but it's the best we have. Sailor Pluto didn't exactly stop to chit-chat on the way here."

Luna exclaimed, "Sailor Who?"

Renee clapped a hand over her mouth and Lauren's hand quickly descended to join it. Lauren said, "Nothing. No Sailor. She meant sol-sol-solar! Yeah, that was it! She meant Solar Powers! I mean, Power, I mean, oh forget it."

Just then a blinding light entered the room. Serena looked up from Rei's manga and said, "What now? Are they gone?" she saw both Lauren and Renee sitting across the table and sighed, "Wishful thinking."

Renee gasped, "Sailor Pluto!"

Luna queried, "Who is that? The name sounds familiar, but I don't recall..."

Artemis squirmed out from under the table and said, "You're right, Luna. I seem to remember the name, too."

A voice surrounded them all in the blaring light, "Yes Luna. Yes Artemis. You should remember Sailor Pluto. I knew you all. Back in the Moon Kingdom," at Serena's look of disgust, she added, "Yes Serena. Even Lauren and Renee." Renee and Lauren were flabbergasted. Lauren managed, "Say what???"

Pluto responded, "Yes Lauren. I knew you both. You were supposed to be reborn on the Earth with the rest of the Moon's children, but Beryl managed to sweep you off course, into another dimension altogether. Your dimension never had a Moon Kingdom. We will need your help in the near future, that is why I brought you here. I can stay here no longer, but I will leave a small gift. Luna, Artemis, Renee, Lauren. RECALL YOUR PAST!"

The blinding light disappeared, and they remembered.

Out of nowhere, Serena's locket began to play. Renee muttered, "We never did fix that thing, did we? We always meant to get around to it, but then..." she trailed off, "Ho-ly Shoot."

Mina smiled, "Were you the Royal Jewelers?"

Lauren and Renee looked at each other, and Lauren smirked, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking." Renee laughed, "Oh yeah. Venus Powder Puff Choke for her new attack." They gave each other a high five.

Mina gagged, "Who are you guys??"

A trumpeting music filled the room, while a funky, cool background of sparkling lights appeared behind Lauren and Renee. They struck a pose, back to back. Lauren crossed her arms over her chest, and Renee lifted a foot into a perfect point by her knee. She lifted her arm into the air with the other hand on her hip, leaning on Lauren's back all the while. They boldly stated, "We are - the," Lauren broke off, "How come you always get to lean on me?"

Renee looked puzzled for a moment and then said, "'Cuz you're bigger! If you leaned on me, I'd fall! Duh."

Lauren turned around and said, "Why you, little-"

Renee interrupted, "Yeah. Exactly the point - little."

Lauren raised her hand and Rei yelled, "Will you two get on with it, already!"

Ami sighed and said, "They're as bad as Rei and Serena!"

Lauren and Renee said, "We are not! In fact, We Are - " they struck the pose (accompanied by the trumpets and funky, cool background), "The Moon Mages!"

Everyone sweatdropped.


Ripping back through time and space, we return to the cavern where a young man sits, bored, on the throne. He muttered, "About time they got back to me. It's no fun being the bad guy if you don't get any screen time." He cleared his throat and sat up straighter. He then realized, that he had no idea of how to go about collecting scores of evil followers. He put his head in his hand, "It used to seem so easy when Mom and Dad did it," he shook his head and said, "I suppose I'll have to do it the hard way." He called up Old Faithful. The raggedy old sheepdog bounded up to the throne.

The young man started patting Faithful on the head. Faithful sighed in contentment, "A little to the left, Zalisite. Oh yeah, that's the spot." His back paw lifted to scratch an itch on his side, "So what's eatin' ya, kid? Personally, it's fleas. But you, I haven't seen you this down since your Mom and Dad got toasted." Zalisite stared at him, "Very tactful, Faithful."

Faithful shrugged, "Dogs aren't much for tact. If you wanted tact, you shoulda asked your parents for a cat. A nice fat, juicy cat with no fur..." he started to drool. "One 'o' those Moon Cats for instance. I always wanted to sink my teeth into the black one. Too bad your Ma hated cats so much. Although how a person who travels everywhere by blossom petals can complain of cat hair allergies, I never understood. She had problems with roses, too, right? Your da used to get 'em for your her all the time, then one day she looks at him, looks at the roses, screeches somethin' awful (I couldn't hear for a week!) and throws 'em across the room, all the time yelling something about 'Cape Boy'. What was the deal with that?"

Zalisite shrugged and said, "I don't know. They were both pretty wacky towards the end. Remember how Dad used to wander around muttering, 'It's not a bleach job, damn it! I'm not a surfer! I'm a General! There's a difference! Why can't they figure that out?' Remember?" Faithful laughed, "Oh yeah. I do. He used to stare at me and ask, 'Does it look like a bleach job to you? It's just naturally that color, damn it! It's not my fault!' Shame he never figured out that I could talk back. I coulda told him a thing or two."

Zalisite shook himself, "All right, Faithful. I didn't call you up here to reminisce. I've got a problem."

Faithful settled himself at the foot of the throne and put his head on his paws, "What else is new?"

Zalisite glared, "Will you cut the wisecracks, for once!"

Faithful noted that Zalisite actually looked angry, "Only one thing to do," he thought. He pulled out the big-eyed puppy dog look and leaned his head against Zalisite's knee. Zalisite's hard expression wavered, "Stop it. Faithful, I mean it. I mean it! Doh. All right. All right. You're cute. I love you! I'm sorry I yelled. Are you happy?!?"

Faithful lolled his tongue out, "Works every time! Now what was this about a problem?"

"Finally. We get back to it," he laid a hand on Faithful's head, "I need henchmen. See, we lost our last youma in the fight with the Scouts. We don't have any more."

Faithful looked puzzled, "Beryl didn't stock up? I thought she kept spares of all the youma in the storage room behind the throne?"

Zalisite brightened, "Oh yeah! Let's go!" He got up, his blond hair fanning around his shoulders. His dad's legacy - a long, white cape - swirled out behind him as he ran for the storage room.


Renee was collapsed on the floor. Everyone was getting tired of this, by now. Lita said, "Is she gonna have hysterics, every time someone sweatdrops?" Lauren (who was wearing a monster-huge sweatdrop of her own) answered, "Uhhh...I think that's a pretty safe assumption." She prodded Renee with her toe. Renee yelled, "Ow!" Lauren said, "Oh good. You are still alive. Now will you quit laughing and get up!" Renee sprang to her feet and bounced up and down on her toes. Lauren's eyes went wide in fear. "Oh no. I knew it. This can't be happening. Guys, be very careful around her for the rest of the day."

Ami questioned, "What's wrong with her?"

Lauren stated, simply, "Sugar rush."

Everyone took a huge step back from Renee. Renee looked around the room and let out a small "Mew." She sniffed and said (suddenly happy again), "Didn't you guys want to know more about us?"

Everyone eyed Lauren. Mina mouthed, "Is it safe?"

Lauren shrugged, "We may as well start. She'll calm down eventually. If she doesn't then maybe she's gonna be swimmin' with the fishies, soon." This last was said pointedly in Renee's direction.

Renee "eep!"ed and sat down quickly. "I'll be good! I'll be good!"

Lauren said, "That's better. Now, where to begin? OK, I got it. Everyone take out your little pen things," Darien and Serena looked confused. Lauren shook her head in exasperation, "Not you two. You take out your rose and brooch and locket. Got it?" There were nods all around as everyone started searching through their cosmic pockets for their respective tools. Lauren said, "Have them out, now? Good. Well, all those nifty, little tools that you use... We made 'em."

Everyone stared, "YOU???"

Lauren's ego swelled with pride, "Yup. Me and Renee. We made 'em all. The brooch's, the pen's, the rose's, all the attacks, the transformations, the scepter, the crystal, you name it. WE made it." Renee bobbed her head up and down in agreement.

Everyone stared in disbelief, "The Imperium Silver Crystal?"

Lauren scuffed her feet around for an instant, "OK, OK. So we didn't make the Silver Crystal. But we did make everything else. Which reminds me," she turned to Renee. "Did you come up with those other attacks? I think they could probably use them."

Renee visibly racked her brain (sugar rushes do funny things to you), "Actually, yeah. How did they go? Oh yeah," she ticked them off on her fingers, "Icestorm Blast, Celestial Fire Surround, Thunderclap Zap, Love Chain Encirle, and Moon already has the Scepter. That was it." Lauren said, "We should probably get to work integrating those into the transformation matrices," at Renee's nod of agreement Lauren turned to Luna and asked, "Did they get the "Star Powers" on time?"

Luna said, "The what?"

Renee prompted, "Ice Bubbles Freeze, Firebird Strike, Thunder Dragon, and Meteor Shower?"

Serena said, "Oh yeah, those. We have those already."

Lauren stared at her, "If you're really that bored, then we just won't include you. You can just keep your scepter. OK?"

Serena yelled, "Yippee! Now I can go to the Arcade and play the new Sailor V game!" She was up and out the door before anyone could tell her that it had been a joke.

Lauren stared after her and said, "Yea. OK. We'll take care of her later," she turned to the rest of the Scouts and said, "Give us your transformation trinkets- "

Renee interrupted, "Or we'll punish you!!!"

Lauren snorted in disgust, "Renee. Fishies. Remember?"

Renee "eep"ed again. She then put on her angel face. Lauren collected the tools from the stunned Scouts and Darien. She said, "These should be ready by tomorrow. Anyone gotta place we can stay?"

Renee said innocently, "How about we stay at Darien's place?" The sentence echoed down the streets of Tokyo, "Darien's place...Darien's place...Darien's place..." The echo reached the ears of a young meatball-headed Sailor Scout, who had (until that moment) been engaged in the new Sailor V video game. Her head jerked up (cracking Andrew on the chin) and she screamed, "WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She left the game standing (and a very dazed Andrew standing behind it) and screeched back to the temple at speeds only to be matched by the TGV in France.

Panting heavily she yelled at the Moon Mages, "Are you nuts?????! I - don't - think so! You are not sleeping with Darien - I mean, in Darien's apartment! You hear me? Not now, not ever!" She then let loose a fearful wail, "OH NO! Now I lost the chance to finish the Sailor V game! I won't have more Arcade money until I get my allowance! I hate you guys!"

Lauren, very brave indeed, walked up to Serena, smiled, plucked the brooch off her shirt, said, "Thank you, your highness," then turned to the others, muttering, "If she can run like that, why is she always late to school?" Serena screamed in rage and jumped Lauren, who went plummeting to the ground.

Renee grinned in approval, "She's finally coming into her own." She chuckled a bit, then raised her arm. She narrowed her eyes, trying to block out Lauren's screaming ("Get 'er off me! She's gone psycho! Get 'er off!), and finally succeeding. The next thing everyone was aware of was a sudden silence - and Serena floating eight feet above the ground. Renee grinned an evil grin and said to Lauren and Serena, "Are you two girls going to be nice and make up, now?" Lauren and Serena nodded. Renee said, "Good. Now, Serena, I'm going to put you down, now. But if you try that again, I will take the Scepter away and stick you with your Tiara for the rest of your life. Understand?" Serena nodded fearfully and Renee set her down.

Lauren walked over to Serena and offered her a figurative olive branch. Serena looked up startled, "You'd really do that for me?" Lauren smiled, "Yeah. I'll pay for another Sailor V game. And if you let me play with you, I'll even buy you a milkshake afterwards. Sound good?" Serena yelled, "All right! Free food! Let's go!" She grabbed Lauren's arm and yanked her down the street - nearly matching her earlier speed. The rest of the Scouts could still hear the echoes of Lauren's terrified yell, "Mommeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"


Part 2 | The Graveyard | Part 4
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