Dilandau fic teaser
"The brighter the picture, the darker the negative." -Jess Filipek ^_^
I am alone... For the first time in so very long... It's tearing me apart inside - this being alone. They're all gone, you see. All of them. Everyone who ever cared about me is gone. I'm alone... I want to scream and cry and rail at the injustice of it all - oh wait. I already am. I can feel a laugh bubbling up from inside my chest at the irony of it all, but it emerges as yet another scream. Mercifully, my mind blacks out before I can think too much more.
Jajuka stared down at the screaming youth who had once been his charge. It was horrendous... how could such a brilliant, charming light have been brought to this? It simply wasn't fair. His child hadn't deserved this - still didn't deserve it, despite what he'd done. After all - it wasn't truly his fault, was it? It was all Dornkirk's fault - Dornkirk and his awful machines.
He reached out one furred hand to push the hair from his charge's sweaty brow. Faced with the obvious failure of his fate-altering schemes, it was necessary to redo the experiment - or so the Sorcerers said. Jajuka had argued against it, tried to reason with them. His charge had been through enough - why torment him further? It made his heart contract in pain to see him like this.
The youth began soundlessly screaming again, thrashing on the bed and pulling at the restraints. Streams of tears began to leak from his wide-open, sightless eyes. Jajuka's voice hitched on a sob as he attempted to soothe the frantic boy. I can't deal with this... Onegai... If there truly is a god... let me take him away from this place - if only for a little while. Just long enough for him to recover. Onegai!
No... I'm awake again... It hurts... It hurts so much to be aware. At least when I'm asleep, I don't know - and I'm not alone. Not really. Migel, Gatti, Shesta, Guimel, Dalet, Viole... In my dreams, they're all still with me, and I'm not afraid. Not afraid of anyone - not Van Fanel, not that brat from the Mystic Moon, not Strategos Folken, not even Emperor Dornkirk. I'm strong and confident, and no one can hurt me. But when I'm awake... the illusion shatters. I know I'm alone, and weak, and afraid- no. I'm not afraid - I'm terrified. Terrified of everything and everyone. Terrified of my enemies who can hurt me because I'm weak, and terrified of my allies because they can leave me alone. I just want to curl up into a little ball and pray for everything to go back the way it was - but I can't even do that. My arms, my legs - they won't move! No matter how hard I try... they won't move. I can feel the tears starting to leak from my eyes and curse at this sign of weakness - but still, they come. I am powerless.
Jajuka almost cheered with relief as he received his orders. It had been a sleepless few days, but it had all been worth it. On some level, his charge must have sensed him and been comforted by his presence, for he had calmed. No longer did he spend the nights awake, screaming and struggling. No longer did he cry streams of endless tears that no amount of comforting would end. No longer did he refuse any and all food given to him. It had been deamed by the Powers That Be that is was safe to release him from custody for a short time. And Jajuka was once again to have the privilege of looking after him. Somehow... he would find a way to make things all right. Somehow...